TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize