After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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