he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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