Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
