Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
