My brain says no but my pants say off.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
