I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
