I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
