so that wasnt chicken after all
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
