Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
