he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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