I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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