i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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