No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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