I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
