She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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