Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
