A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
