He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Did I show you my penis last night?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
