you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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