u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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