So drunk, too bad you don't want this
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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