i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
