I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
