You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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