How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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