OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
