Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
