you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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