4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
