im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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