he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
