He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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