omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize