we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize