Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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