I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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