nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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