What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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