Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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