I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
being pregnant is like rehab
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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