I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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