your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think my vagina is haunted
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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