dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
