The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
