I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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