my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
