Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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