she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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