She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
MIDGETS
????
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
