The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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