I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
