so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
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New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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