Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
