I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
