Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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