Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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