I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
