you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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