If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
