yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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