Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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