Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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