gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
