We're like a lot better than the average bears
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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