good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize