if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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