The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
